I recently read a quote that says, "salt water heals all things: tears, sweat, the ocean." I could not agree with that more.
I'll start with my favorite, the ocean. As a girl who grew up in the suburbs of Dallas, Texas, I never felt any sort of special connection to the ocean. But, all of that changed when I joined Peace Corps Philippines and the Sulu Sea became my backyard. Many of my volunteer friends and I joke that you must have a go-to coping mechanism if you are to survive and thrive in the Peace Corps; mine is taking daily trips to the shores. It's difficult to explain the beauty of my favorite beach, Jawili beach, but I'll try. The waters are clear as glass so that I can see my toes underneath me as I wade. The water is warm and inviting, with hidden cooler currents that are fun to play hide and seek with. The sand is white and pure, with tiny pale crabs constantly scurrying about. The differing shades of colors are a combination of turquoise, sea foam, and sky blue. The sandbar is long, so you can swim for miles without feeling lost at sea. The coral is vibrant and snorkeling there has become one of my favorite activities. I almost always see a family of sea horses hidden in the sea grass. I like to play chicken with the territorial clown fish. The eels are not my friends, but I still like to stare at them. I also love to find the chocolate chip starfish (that's really their name). Some are giant, as big as my face! They come in blue and pale pink, mostly, with big brown dots, resembling chocolate chips, on top of them. I feel most at peace when I'm swimming in the ocean, discovering a world that is so beautifully different from my own. It's a reminder of how I am but a speck on this earth. It wasn't always like that, I used to be terrified of not knowing what could be swimming underneath me. But, I've come to appreciate and wonder at its magnificence. The ocean has given me plenty a therapy sessions. I feel centered the moment my feet feel the powdery sand and my body submerges in its salty embrace. It's pure and invigorating, encouraging me to continue when times are hard.
My next favorite, sweat. I've always had a complicated relationship with running; it's very love/hate. There are times when I squeal at the idea of putting on my shorts and lacing up my tennis shoes, but I have never, ever regretted a run after it's completed. Well, I do regret one run in particular, but that is the exception, and not at all the rule. And then there are times when I literally cannot wait for the time in my day when I can move my legs in that familiar and comforting motion, while feeling my body work in the beautiful way it was born to. I feel confident in saying that running has saved me on more than one occasion. It's how I release pent up emotions-anger, sadness, happiness, frustration, pain-they are all lost in the run. I love the feeling of salty sweat streaming down my face as my feet pound the ground in a rhythmic pitter-patter. I am no longer concentrating on that person who hurt me, the pain I hold in my heart, or the day's failings. I am concentrating on the current path, my breath that's in sync with my steps, and the song that is blaring through my headphones. Some runs serve the purpose of clearing my mind, while others are meant as a time for me to dwell and comprise a solution; an answer may not always be the end result, but the run met its goal by giving me time to process with no interruptions. Sweating, especially done in conjunction with running, cleanses toxins from the body, mind, and spirit.
Finally, tears, my least favorite. Well, that's not completely accurate. It was at one time an unpleasant activity, but as I grow, I'm beginning to appreciate its purpose on both a physical and emotional level. I can honestly say that I have never cried as much as I have the past year of my life. I think it's almost impossible to complete your Peace Corps service without tearing up at least once a week. That sounds bad, but it's really not at all. My tears are produced from many different sources, such as happiness, sadness, frustration, confusion, clarity, amazement, wonder, longing, loneliness, witnessing the beauty of humanity and nature, being misunderstood, laughter, pain, anger, and sometimes, for no reason whatsoever. I've come to realize that tears are both a beautiful and unique part of our human composition. Tears are cleansing for the mind and soul; they clean the wounds of the heart and spirit. Tears serve such a fundamental purpose. When we are babies, we cry as a way of communicating with caretakers that something is wrong. As adults, it gets much more complex. I cry when I miss my family, friends, and Luna. I cried when I was sworn-in as a Peace Corps Volunteer. I
literally cry every time Beth dies in Little Women. I cried like an infant when I had amoebas. I cry every time I get a shot. I cried during my Language Proficiency Interview (that's embarrassing and on tape). I cried from laughing so hard when I fell on my butt in front of dozens of Filipinos while getting off a boat. I cry for the pain I see in some of my student's eyes, and for the fact that I can't do
much to take it away. I cried, discreetly, when my students asked me to read Horton Hears A Who, "just one more time." I cried the first time a student told me that her favorite part of the day was English Club. I wept over the destruction that Mother Nature can cause. I cried when sweet Arlene told me that she learned a lot at Reading Camp (and she said it in English!). I thought I would never stop crying when someone hurt me. I still weep for the intangible things that were stolen from me, but I know that every tear I shed is quietly mending my broken heart and spirit.
Whether it's swimming in the ocean's salty embrace, running so hard that I end up in a pool of my own sweat, or crying because it's the only thing that makes sense, salt water heals all things big and small.
